The way it came down

When she finally died after the years of cancer, it was a surreal ending that seemed scripted. I knew they'd do it to me. They'd figure out some way to make me look bad and miss the funeral, then be mad that I did, just to keep the thign going.

Sound kind of weird.

But they did.

There came a point that they (the 4) were ushered to her side because she really was going to die this time. They called in last rites. She was still talking, dictating, and they were following like always. He (Dad) was watching her slip away, and likely wondering what it would be like...some ways a relief becuase this was so hard to maintain....some ways new because it had been so long....lonely....sad...wondering.

She said she didn't want Jimmy to come. No one asked why, it was assumed that would be the case.

I got word that she was bad, my niece happened to be talking to my daughter and she mentioned that her Nana (my mother) was pretty bad. My daugher told me. I called my brother, he said "she's been bad for years, I'm not coming up (he lived in Texas), I'm going on as if she'll be around for Thanksgiving, months from now". I asked him to be sure and tell me if anything changes. "Sure", he lied.

Word is he came to the last rites.

No call.

So there I was in France having dinner when my son-in-law's cell rings. "It's your sister" says Steve. "Hello?" "Yes, Jimmy, this is Susan. Mother is dying and we think she is holding out for something...maybe talking to you will help her let go". (Note ther is no, "gee, we wish you were here, this is so sad, you'll probably never see her again"...just "could you help her die and stop screwing things up again". And, of course, I didn't know the secret pact at the time.

"I'll put the phone to her ear now". "Hello, Mom. I am so sorry that I am not there. And I am very sorry that you are hurting so bad. I knwo things are not good with us, but I love you, and Mom, it is OK for you to go now. You can let go. Jesus loves you Mom. Let Him have your heart. I love you too."

She died that night.